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Crossfit Bodybuilding and Getting Girls to Sleep With You
As many of you know, Ive been crossfitting for a good while now, and I love it. Its given me a completely new outlook on fitness; I have a much more performance-based mentality than I used to. Whereas I used to care mostly about having nice pecs and biceps (curls for the girls), I now concern myself with more worthwhile goals, like lifting heavy shit over my head, doing lots of pullups, and training my body to move the way its designed to move. Sure, looking good naked is a nice side effect, but thats not why I do it. For simplicity, heres a short summary of the differences between crossfit and what everyone else is doing...
And now that I have this new crossfit mentality, I have to admit... Im a little embarrassed. Im embarrassed because for so long, my only motive for working out was to look good; I cant believe I was ever so vain. And this is, in my now older and wiser mind, not the way to look at fitness. It gives me and everyone else in the performance realm a bad name... including crossfitters, power lifters, track athletes, endurance athletes, and anyone else who has real, substantial goals that arent rooted in narcissism. Unfortunately, most avid gym-goers are still stuck in this bodybuilding mentality, only working out for aesthetic purposes, to look good for others. In other words, theyre not doing it for themselves... theyre doing it for other people. And heres whats wrong with it.
Finding your motivation in impressing others is completely unsustainable.
Ive experienced it first hand. You see, before I found crossfit, I was stuck in this cycle...
1.) Become obsessed with working on my body and make myself look good (approximately 3 months)
2.) Grow completely bored with it, yet still go through the workouts since Id already come so far (another 3 months)
3.) Realize I dont care about the gym as much as I did 6 months ago, stop going completely (1 month)
4.) Get fatter and softer, lose both muscle and self confidence, revert to step 1.
Why did I become bored? Because my motivation didnt come from within. I was working out so other people would look at me and think one of two things… either “He looks great, I wish I looked like that,” or, “Wow, he looks hot, I’d love to bone him.” Yes, seriously. What I’ve learned is that girls don’t care if you have a six pack. Or if you have big shoulders. Guys don’t either. Sure, a nice body can be sexy. But you know what’s even sexier? Confidence. Confidence in yourself, confidence in your body, and a general I-don’t-give-a-shit-what-you-think-because-I’m-comfortable-in-my-own-skin attitude. And real confidence, much like motivation, doesnt come from the opinions of others... it comes from within.
Crossfit builds real confidence. Just try it. The first time youre able to string together a series of double-unders, or when you do your first muscle-up, or when you hit a new PR (personal record)... when you accomplish something you never even thought was possible, youll feel it. You simultaneously realize that a) youre awesome, and b) your opinion is the only one that matters. And its real... because youre doing it for yourself, not for someone elses meaningless opinion of you.
The bodybuilding approach doesnt make you faster, stronger, or a better athlete. It just makes you fake.
In fact, theres a good chance itll make you less athletic. I fell victim to this myth when I first began to lift weights. I expected that with my new found muscle, I’d automatically be better at sports. I expected to step on to the football field and have a leg up on everyone else; I thought I would dominate in pickup basketball. I couldn’t have been more wrong. It made me slower and less coordinated. You see, being really strong on the leg press machine and being able to press 300 pounds on the chest press machine dont exactly translate to real world strength. Neither does lifting a weight slowly to increase the muscles time under tension. And neither does doing something retarded like the seated shoulder press... call me next time you need to push something overhead without using your legs or hips. Just stand the fuck up. These things may build you muscle, but that muscle has no practical use. Its all for show. Youre still slow, clunky, and you probably couldnt do anything that requires real life strength, like carrying someone out of a burning building. Not unless they were strapped to a cable crossover machine at least.
Okay look, if bodybuilding is your thing, thats great. Im not here to rain on your parade; this is all just my opinion. But Ive been there. I spent years working out with the sole intent of looking good, and I can tell you that its a dead end street. It is indeed the cul-de-sac of fitness. But if you really like taking pictures of yourself half-naked and putting them on Facebook so everyone can see how hot you look, then by all means do it. Its too vain for me. It makes me feel like a tool. And its oddly feminine. It makes me feel like a little, girly tool.
Im just happy I found crossfit. And Im never looking back.
Crossfit Bodybuilding and Getting Girls to Sleep With You
Thursday, February 13, 2014
As many of you know, Ive been crossfitting for a good while now, and I love it. Its given me a completely new outlook on fitness; I have a much more performance-based mentality than I used to. Whereas I used to care mostly about having nice pecs and biceps (curls for the girls), I now concern myself with more worthwhile goals, like lifting heavy shit over my head, doing lots of pullups, and training my body to move the way its designed to move. Sure, looking good naked is a nice side effect, but thats not why I do it. For simplicity, heres a short summary of the differences between crossfit and what everyone else is doing...Crossfit approach: Performance oriented. Get faster and stronger. Do fundamental exercises like squats, deadlifts, and presses, which will produce strength that translates into real life activities. Do more work in less time, use proper form, and train your body to be an athletic machine. Build strength, power, endurance, and athleticism.
Bodybuilding/general gym approach: Work out to look good. Do silly things like bicep curls and leg extensions. Use the elliptical machine for cardio. Work your muscles groups individually, in isolation from the body as a whole. Whack off to yourself in the mirror.
And now that I have this new crossfit mentality, I have to admit... Im a little embarrassed. Im embarrassed because for so long, my only motive for working out was to look good; I cant believe I was ever so vain. And this is, in my now older and wiser mind, not the way to look at fitness. It gives me and everyone else in the performance realm a bad name... including crossfitters, power lifters, track athletes, endurance athletes, and anyone else who has real, substantial goals that arent rooted in narcissism. Unfortunately, most avid gym-goers are still stuck in this bodybuilding mentality, only working out for aesthetic purposes, to look good for others. In other words, theyre not doing it for themselves... theyre doing it for other people. And heres whats wrong with it.
Finding your motivation in impressing others is completely unsustainable.
Ive experienced it first hand. You see, before I found crossfit, I was stuck in this cycle...
1.) Become obsessed with working on my body and make myself look good (approximately 3 months)
2.) Grow completely bored with it, yet still go through the workouts since Id already come so far (another 3 months)
3.) Realize I dont care about the gym as much as I did 6 months ago, stop going completely (1 month)
4.) Get fatter and softer, lose both muscle and self confidence, revert to step 1.
Why did I become bored? Because my motivation didnt come from within. I was working out so other people would look at me and think one of two things… either “He looks great, I wish I looked like that,” or, “Wow, he looks hot, I’d love to bone him.” Yes, seriously. What I’ve learned is that girls don’t care if you have a six pack. Or if you have big shoulders. Guys don’t either. Sure, a nice body can be sexy. But you know what’s even sexier? Confidence. Confidence in yourself, confidence in your body, and a general I-don’t-give-a-shit-what-you-think-because-I’m-comfortable-in-my-own-skin attitude. And real confidence, much like motivation, doesnt come from the opinions of others... it comes from within.
Crossfit builds real confidence. Just try it. The first time youre able to string together a series of double-unders, or when you do your first muscle-up, or when you hit a new PR (personal record)... when you accomplish something you never even thought was possible, youll feel it. You simultaneously realize that a) youre awesome, and b) your opinion is the only one that matters. And its real... because youre doing it for yourself, not for someone elses meaningless opinion of you.
The bodybuilding approach doesnt make you faster, stronger, or a better athlete. It just makes you fake.
In fact, theres a good chance itll make you less athletic. I fell victim to this myth when I first began to lift weights. I expected that with my new found muscle, I’d automatically be better at sports. I expected to step on to the football field and have a leg up on everyone else; I thought I would dominate in pickup basketball. I couldn’t have been more wrong. It made me slower and less coordinated. You see, being really strong on the leg press machine and being able to press 300 pounds on the chest press machine dont exactly translate to real world strength. Neither does lifting a weight slowly to increase the muscles time under tension. And neither does doing something retarded like the seated shoulder press... call me next time you need to push something overhead without using your legs or hips. Just stand the fuck up. These things may build you muscle, but that muscle has no practical use. Its all for show. Youre still slow, clunky, and you probably couldnt do anything that requires real life strength, like carrying someone out of a burning building. Not unless they were strapped to a cable crossover machine at least.
What is aesthetic beauty without something real to back it up? Does it matter how big your legs are if you couldnt outrun my grandma? No. Not in my opinion. You’re a paper tiger, and you can’t hide behind that front forever. Bodybuilders are like girls who wear too much makeup. Take Kim Kardashian, for example. Yeah, I ran into her once. She wears an absurd amount of makeup. It may look aesthetically pleasing, but the idea that you need a mask to make yourself feel confident enough to go out in public… there’s nothing more unattractive. I don’t care how hot it makes you feel, its not you, and hence its not hot. If you dont look good without makeup, then you dont look good, thats my philosophy. The same is true for bodybuilders, or even your average gym rat. The muscles are their makeup. They may look good on the outside, but they may as well be sporting total body muscle implants, because they cant do anything substantial with them. Its just fake, and I cant stand it.
Crossfit, on the other hand, places functionality over aesthetics. We care most about what we can do with our bodies, rather than how we look because of it. We care about our 400m time, or how many kipping pullups we can do, or how much we can deadlift. We dont really care about how our backs look while we do it. Okay, maybe just a little bit. Crossfitters do look good, but we have substance behind it. Those muscles actually serve a real-world purpose. Its just more real. And thats sexy.
Okay look, if bodybuilding is your thing, thats great. Im not here to rain on your parade; this is all just my opinion. But Ive been there. I spent years working out with the sole intent of looking good, and I can tell you that its a dead end street. It is indeed the cul-de-sac of fitness. But if you really like taking pictures of yourself half-naked and putting them on Facebook so everyone can see how hot you look, then by all means do it. Its too vain for me. It makes me feel like a tool. And its oddly feminine. It makes me feel like a little, girly tool.
Im just happy I found crossfit. And Im never looking back.
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