Health for life

Up until last night, Ive always used canned beans in recipes. I wish I could say it’s because they taste better. Or they’re cheaper. Or they come in prettier colors and sing me neat Pink Floyd songs as I go to sleep at night.

Alas, that ain’t the truth. The truth is more like this: I have never been able to rehydrate dried beans. Ever. Like, in recorded history. Even before I was born, I couldn’t do it. No matter how long I soaked, no matter how many hours I boiled, my dried legumes always stayed dried. Like tiny, grainy BB gun pellets.

Then, I stumbled over The Kitchns One-Pot Pasta e Fagioli, which uses caramelized onions and a smattering of bacon to flavor a rich broth, in which dried cannellini beans, pasta, and spinach are then cooked to a soft, hearty stew. (Wow, that was a long sentence. Also, A Smattering of Bacon is potentially great title for your next novel about Existentialism.)

And just like that, I have been joined the ranks of the People Who Are Capable of Rehyrdating Beans, or PWACORB. Really, its kind of a revelation, and not just because dried cannellinis are much creamier than canned. Theyre also way, way less expensive, use significantly less packaging, and are a comparative breeze to carry. Which? Is important when youre training for the Olympics. (Note: I am not training for the Olympics.)

Back to that recipe, though: I liked it, and its a wonderful way to incorporate bacon into your diet in a healthy way. However, it did turn kind of mushy. Not unacceptably so. Just more than I would have liked. To remedy this, next time I will:

1) Try using a thicker pasta. I added elbow macaroni, and it softened pretty quickly. A whole-wheat pasta or sturdier mezze penne or orrechiette would have probably held up better.

2) Try adding the pasta last. That way, it wont have so much time to absorb extra water.

Besides that minor issue, we ate it, and have more than enough to last for a week o office lunches. Not to mention, now I will rehydrate beans with impunity. IMPUNITY, I SAY!

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If this looks tasty, you’ll surely enjoy:

• Chicken Noodle Soup
• Easy Vegetarian Bean Chili
• Quinoa Soup with Avocado and Corn

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One-Pot Pasta e Fagioli
Serves 8 to 10
Adapted from The Kitchn.


1 pound dried cannellini beans
5 strips bacon, chopped
2 medium yellow onions, sliced thin
3 medium celery stalks, diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 (15-ounce) can chicken broth
1 bay leaf
1/2 pound small pasta (whole-wheat for extra healthiness)
5 thyme sprigs
3 teaspoons salt
10 ounces frozen spinach (fresh would also work)
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
Parmesan cheese, for serving (optional)

1) In a large mixing bowl, add beans and enough water to cover by an inch or two. Let sit overnight.

2) In a large pot or Dutch oven, cook bacon over medium heat until a little crispy. Remove bacon with a slotted spoon or a spider. Set aside. Get rid of all bacon fat in pot, except for one tablespoon. Add onions and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Cook, stirring occasionally, until caramelized. (This will take anywhere from 20 to 45 minutes, depending on how large you slice the onions and a few other factors.)

3) Preheat oven to 325 °F.

4) Add celery to onion mixture. Sauté 3 minutes. Add garlic. Sauté until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Scoop half of onion mixture into a bowl and set aside with bacon.

5) Deglaze pot with 1 cup chicken broth, making sure you scrape up all the tasty onion bits stuck to the bottom.

6) Drain beans. Add to pot along with bay leaf, remaining chicken broth, and “enough water to cover the beans and onions by 1 inch.” Cover. Stick in oven and braise for 1 hour. If the beans aren’t soft after 1 hour, cook an additional 15 to 20 minutes.

7) Remove pot from oven. Place on burner and turn it up to medium-high heat. Add reserved bacon, reserved onion mixture, thyme, remaining salt, and pasta. Cook until pasta is almost done. Stir occasionally, and don’t be afraid to add more water if things are getting a little dry.

8) Add block of frozen spinach. Cook, stirring often, until spinach is totally defrosted and spread out in stew. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve topped with parmesan cheese.

OTHER SERVING SUGGESTIONS: Try using a thicker, smaller pasta, or perhaps a whole-wheat pasta. If you’d like it to have more of a chew, add it in with the spinach and cook until al dente. The pasta will soften significantly and absorb water as the stew sits, so dont fear adding more H2O as time goes on.

Approximate Calories, Fat, Fiber, Protein, and Price Per Serving
Nine servings: 312 calories, 3.6 g fat, 6.3 g fiber, 17.8 g protein, $0.68

NOTE: Calculations are for Goya cannellini beans, also known as white kidney beans or alubias.

Calculations
1 pound dried cannellini beans: 1500 calories, 10 g fat, 40 g fiber, 100 g protein, $1.59
5 strips bacon, chopped: 230 calories, 17.8 g fat, 0 g fiber, 15.7 g protein, $0.83
2 medium yellow onions, sliced thin: 92 calories, 0.2 g fat, 3.1 g fiber, 2 g protein, $0.50
3 medium celery stalks, diced: 17 calories, 0.2 g fat, 1.9 g fiber, 0.8 g protein, $0.30
4 garlic cloves, minced: 17 calories, 0.1 g fat, 0.2 g fiber, 0.7 g protein, $0.32
1 (15-ounce) can chicken broth: 30 calories, 0 g fat, 0 g fiber, 5.8 g fiber, $0.66
1 bay leaf: negligible calories, fat, fiber, and protein, $0.02
1/2 pound small pasta: 840 calories, 4 g fat, 8 g fiber, 28 g protein, $0.33
5 thyme sprigs: negligible calories, fat, fiber, and protein, $0.50
3 teaspoons salt: negligible calories, fat, fiber, and protein, $0.02
10 ounces frozen spinach: 103 calories, 0 g fat, 3.4 g fiber, 6.8 g protein, $1.00
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper: negligible calories, fat, fiber, and protein, $0.02
TOTAL: 2812 calories, 32.3 g fat, 56.6 g fiber, 159.8 g protein, $6.09
PER SERVING (TOTAL/9): 312 calories, 3.6 g fat, 6.3 g fiber, 17.8 g protein, $0.68

I’ve learned many things since moving out on my own (make the bed, don’t do drugs, etc.), but perhaps none have been as vital as the following excerpt from a 2003 life skills instruction manual. It was written by a wise, wonderful, unassuming literary icon (note: me) upon her brother’s college graduation, in hopes of inspiring him to put pants on:

“Learn to be at least marginally entertaining. Even if you are aggressively anti-social or covered in boils, the time will come when people want to see you. You must be prepared. Clean your place and don’t leave them to entertain themselves.”
See, with great power (adulthood) comes great responsibility (hosting friends and family). And occasionally, that means feeding people.

Which is why sometimes, in my darkest hours, when all else seems lost, I turn to Rachael Ray. I have conflicting feelings about RR, mostly because she invented “yummo,” which should be banned from all lexicons, everywhere. Still, she knows how to please a crowd. And I respect that.

I respect this Pasta Puttanesca, too. The recipe comes from an episode of 30-Minute Meals called “Quick Italian Classics,” and for the time involved, it’s outstanding. I made it for The Boyfriend on Valentine’s Day, and we almost had babies on the spot. (We didn’t though, Ma.)

Beyond the salty, briny wonder, the best thing about it is the serving size. It will feed roughly 3,000,000 people, and impress at least 2,999,990 of them. When you’re entertaining as a young’un, quality and quantity are good to have.

Should you try it on your own, know the following:

1) If you’re averse to seafood or olives, run far, far, far away. Don’t look back. Then stop and take a breath. Then start running again.

2) Just to restate: this is A LOT OF FREAKING FOOD. The Food Network site claims this will make four servings, which might be true if you live in a family of insatiable giants. In my phenomenally humble opinion, it’ll serve a minimum of six, especially if you include garlic bread or a salad or something.

(THINGS TO PONDER: Can one claim to be “phenomenally humble”? It’s essentially saying you’re the absolute best at being modest, which negates the whole thing. Discuss.)

3) For kicks, we added a drained can of quartered artichoke hearts. (The Boyfriend loves ‘em.) They’re not listed in the original recipe, and are only included as an option here, because they’re somewhat pricey (but highly suggested).

4) I used half black olives and half kalamata. BECAUSE I COULD. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

So, next time youre forced to feed a crowd, consider the Puttanesca. It could be a valuable part of your adulthood.

Pasta Puttanesca
Makes 6 servings
Adapted from Rachael Ray.


1 pound spaghetti 
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
4 to 6 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tin flat anchovy fillets, drained
1 /2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
20 oil-cured black olives, cracked away from pit and coarsely chopped
3 tablespoons capers
1 (28 to 32-ounce) can chunky style crushed tomatoes
1 (14.5-ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained
A few grinds black pepper
1/4 cup flat leaf parsley, chopped
OPTIONAL: 1 14.5-oz can artichoke heart quarters, drained

1) Cook pasta in salted water until al dente. Drain and set aside.

2) In a large skillet, combine oil, garlic, anchovies, and red pepper and heat over medium heat. Cook about 3 minutes, until anchovies are completely dissolved. Add olives, capers, tomatoes, black pepper, and parsley (and artichoke hearts, if using). Once it starts to bubble, drop the heat to medium-low and cook 8 or 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

3) Add pasta to pan. Toss to coat. Serve.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
434 calories, 9.3 g fat, $1.50

Calculations
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil: 239 calories, 27 g fat, $0.23
4 to 6 cloves garlic: 22 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.20
1 tin flat anchovy fillets, drained: 119 calories, 5.5 g fat, $1.59
1 /2 teaspoon red pepper flakes: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
20 oil-cured black olives: 175 calories, 15 g fat, $1.84
3 tablespoons capers: 6 calories, 0.2 g fat, $1.64
1 (28 to 32-ounce) can chunky style crushed tomatoes: 279 calories, 0 g fat, $0.98
1 (14.5-ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained: 82 calories, 0 g fat, $1.19
A few grinds black pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
1/4 cup flat leaf parsley, chopped: negligible calories and fat, $0.49
1 pound spaghetti, cooked to al dente (with a bite): 1680 calories, 8 g fat, $0.80
TOTAL: 2602 calories, 55.8 g fat, $9.00
PER SERVING: 434 calories, 9.3 g fat, $1.50