Health for life

One of my least favorite words in the English language is “moist.” I don’t like the way it slides off the tongue, stabbing it at the end with a sinister, pointy “t.” The sound squicks me out, like the feel of cheap velvet or foam rubbing against itself. Whats more, “moist” makes even the most harmless utterances seem a little dirty. Lewd, even. I actively rain from using it on a casual basis, especially when describing people. Because, lets face it: theres nothing creepier than, “Hey Bob, you look moist today."

This aversion is unfortunate, partly because it’s a pretty common word, but mostly due to the food blogging thing. “Moist” depicts almost every kind of well-made meal, and there are few-to-no substitutes for it. “Wet" connotes a soaking, “soggy” is too negative, and “humid," well ... lets not even discuss. It’s got to be “moist.” “Moist” means a cake is well made. “Moist” means cookies are chewy, but firm. “Moist” means you might be eating Alex’s Slightly Altered Light Chicken and Mushroom Marsala.

I got this recipe from Smitten Kitchen, who got it from the June 1995 issue of Gourmet. And man oh man, is it ever moist. It’s moist-esque. It’s the hostess with the moistest. The chicken is basically braised in broth and marsala wine, which not only imparts a marvelous flavor to the mushrooms, but y’know … the moist thing.

The original recipe called for skin-on chicken breasts and more butter than I was comfortable with. So, to cut the fat, I:

• Used boneless, skinless chicken breasts.
• Only used oil to sauté the mushrooms and onions, instead of a butter/oil combination.
• Reduced the olive oil by a third.

It came out beautifully and went really well with egg noodles. All told, its a classy, earthy meal-for-four under eight bucks. Not too shabby. And most definitely moist. (*cringe*)

Chicken and Mushroom Marsala
Serves 4
Adapted from Smitten Kitchen.

2 whole boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 28 oz), halved
2 teaspoons olive oil
1-1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter
2/3 onion, sliced thin
1/2 pound mushrooms, sliced thin
1/3 cup Marsala
2/3 cup chicken broth
1-1/2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley leaves

1) Gently pat chicken dry with paper towels. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add chicken and brown in two separate batches. When finished with each, transfer them to a plate so juices may redistribute throughout meat.

2) Add onion and mushrooms to skillet. Cook a few minutes, until "liquid mushrooms give off is evaporated," stirring occasionally. Add Marsala. Stir. Cook until Marsala is nearly gone. Add broth, chicken, and any chicken juices pooling on plate. Simmer until chicken is fully cooked, around 15 minutes, turning once halfway through. (I had very thick cuts, and this still timed out perfectly.) Move chicken back to plate.

3) Keep the sauce simmering until it reduces to around 1/3 cup. Kill heat. Salt and pepper the sauce to taste. Add butter. Stir sauce until butter is just melted. Serve chicken with sauce. Garnish with parsley.

Approximate Calories, Fat and Price Per Serving
352 calories, 9.75 g fat, $1.63

Calculations
2 whole boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 28 oz): 875 calories, 9.9 g fat, $3.48
2 teaspoons olive oil: 79 calories, 8.9 g fat, $0.06
1-1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter: 153 calories, 17.3 g fat, $0.15
2/3 onion, sliced thin: 42 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.32
1/2 pound mushrooms, sliced thin: 50 calories, 0.8 g fat, $1.50
1/3 cup Marsala: 142 calories, 0 g fat, $0.61
2/3 cup chicken broth: 64 calories, 2 g fat, $0.16
1-1/2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley leaves: 2 calories, 0 g fat, $0.25
TOTAL: 1407 calories, 39 g fat, $6.53
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 352 calories, 9.75 g fat, $1.63

Please mark off the following questionnaire with a #2 pencil. Should that process begin to cause excessive damage to your computer, you may point to your answers onscreen.

This dish seems familiar because:

A) Déjà vu.
B) Leigh posted a similar Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble less than a year ago, and Kris (that’s me) forgot to double check when she was making the recipe. Doy.
C) It is your father.


Rhubarb and strawberries are/is:

A) Mellifluous.
B) Almost in season, and natural sweet/tart compliments for each other.
C) Peaches and Herb’s original name.


The difference between a crisp and a crumble is:

A) Inconsequential.
B) Nothing really, though crumble topping may be a bit more substantial than a crisp. Or maybe it’s the other way around? I forget.
C) Like the difference between Britney Spears and Beverly Sills! How dare you ask such a question, you culinary dilettante! Now abscond from my courtyard, and never use my bidet again!


The recipe comes from:

A) Yemen.
B) Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, which we discussed at length last week, to discover that it’s okay to take baby steps when it comes to ethical eating.
C) “The darkest depths of Mordor / I met a girl so fair / But Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her, her, her....yeah.”
D) None of the above, especially Answer C, which consisted entirely of semi-appropriate Led Zeppelin lyrics.
E) And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.


The 1987 pilot of 21 Jump Street is:

A) Awesome.
B) Notable for launching the career of one John Depp, a dashing young actor who would remain impossibly attractive for the ensuing two-and-a-half decades.
C) Really awesome, because the cops regularly say things like, “It’s not against the law to be afraid.”
D) Really really awesome, because every “high school student” is at least 35-years-old and a dorky sophomore recovers from his heroin addiction and overdose in a single day.
E) Really really really awesome, because after a particularly harrowing police car chase, Mr. Depp breaks for a saxophone solo while the voice of his dead father is piped in over the smooth jazz stylings.
F) In my pants.


People who text and drive, especially on highways and major roads:

A) Duh.
B) Should be heavily fined and have their licenses revoked.
C) Should have their cars pelted with rotten oranges. This will A) teach a lesson and B) do less damage than the humans they will otherwise inevitably hit.


The best Golden Girl is:

A) Dorothy.
B) Sophia.
C) Rose.
D) Not Blanche.

Thank you for taking our quiz. The answer to every question was Z.

~~~

If you like this recipe, you might also be tantalized by:

• Strawberries with Balsamic Vinegar
• Strawberry Mousse
• Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble

~~~

Individual Strawberry Rhubarb Crisps
Serves 4.
Adapted from Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal, Vegetable, Miracle.


2 cups halved strawberries (or cut into thirds if it’s a big strawberry)
2 cups rhubarb, chopped
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1/4 – 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon allspice
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened (NOT melted)

1) Preheat oven to 375ºF.

2) In a medium bowl, combine strawberries, rhubarb, and honey. Stir to coat. Even distribute among four 6-ounce ramekins.

3) In a separate bowl, combine flour, oats, brown sugar, cinnamon, and allspice. Stir. Cut butter into smaller pieces. Add butter to flour mixture. Using a fork or pastry blender, mash butter and flour mixture until medium-sized crumbs are formed. Sprinkle crumbs evenly on top of the four ramekins.

4) Place ramekins on a baking sheet. (For easier portability!) Bake about 35 minutes, or until rhubarb can be easily pierced with a knife. Topping should be browned and mixture should be bubbly. Remove from oven and let cool a few minutes. (Trust on this one.) Serve!

Approximate Calories, Fat, Fiber, Protein, and Price Per Serving
234 calories, 6.6 g fat, 3.5 g fiber, 2.6 g protein, $0.96

Calculations
2 cups halved strawberries: 97 calories, 0.9 g fat, 6.1 g fiber, 2 g protein, $1.33
2 cups rhubarb, chopped: 51 calories, 0.5 g fat, 4.4 g fiber, 2.2 g protein, $1.70
1/4 cup honey: 255 calories, 0 g fat, 0.2 g fiber, 0.3 g protein, $0.40
1/4 cup flour: 114 calories, 0.3 g fat, 0.8 g fiber, 3.2 g protein, $0.04
1/4 cup rolled oats: 74 calories, 1.5 g fat, 2 g fiber, 2.5 g protein, $0.14
1/4 cup light brown sugar: 137 calories, 0 g fat, fiber, or protein, $0.05
1/4 – 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon: 3 calories, 0 g fat, 0.6 g fiber, 0 g protein, $0.01
1/4 teaspoon allspice: negligible calories, fat, fiber, and protein, $0.04
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened: 204 calories, 23 g fat, 0 g fiber, 0.2 g protein, $0.12
TOTAL: 935 calories, 26.2 g fat, 14.1 g fiber, 10.4 g protein, $3.83
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 234 calories, 6.6 g fat, 3.5 g fiber, 2.6 g protein, $0.96

I’m turning 30 tomorrow. It’s the kind of age that brings up a lot of questions. Were my 20s spent wisely? Am I where I expected to be at this age? Why, after 90,000 days on this planet, do I still suck at buying bras? (Has Oprah taught me NOTHING?)

Being a food blogger/freak, I’ve also wondered (a LOT) how much my tastes will continue to change. Will my palate dull over time? Will I hate candy at 40? Love anise at 55? Will Werther’s Originals ever, ever appeal to me, even when I’m old enough to call Methuselah a punk kid? (“Get off mah lawn, old man!”)

My diet has become markedly different over the last decade alone, especially in the produce department. Man-oh-MAN, I did not like vegetables as a kid. But once I hit 20, they magically became somewhat appetizing. Except for spaghetti squash. That took a few more years, and here’s why...

When my brother, sister and I were growing up, Ma made us dinner nearly every night. On the rare evenings she was whisked away for work, Pa would sub in. Most of the time, he was pretty good at producing a meal for three ravenous kidlings. Burgers, pizza, pasta – the guy could handle it, no sweat.

Occasionally, he would get creative. And while most meals went over well (Chicken and Broccoli, sucka!), one blindsided us completely: Texas Chainsaw Chili and Spaghetti Squash, a.k.a. Two Terrible Tastes That Tasted Like Evil Together.

Being pale, spice-free, Swedish-Irish types, my siblings and I recoiled at the chili’s red pepper and obscene beanery. It looked like roadkill, and the flavor was about the same. The spaghetti squash was equally (and possibly actively) malevolent, possibly because we were tricked by the name into believing it would be real spaghetti. Alas, it was not. And as food was not wasted in our household, Pa made each of us sit at the dinner table until our plates were licked clean. Three hours later, I hadn’t eaten a bite, so I was sent to bed sans dinner.

Thanks to that comparatively-not-really-traumatic experience, I loathed spaghetti squash for nearly two decades. (Chili for only one.) Then, earlier this year a few friends and I traveled to Victoria BC, where we were served Spaghetti Squash Casserole. Not wanting to insult my hosts, I took a bite. And then another. And then had some wine. And then took 12 more bites. And then … you get the picture.

Was spaghetti squash always really good and I just didn’t know it, or have my tastes changed that wildly over the years? The reality of 30 is pushing me towards explanation #2, but I probably won’t be positive for another decade or so. I’ll continue to analyze and let y’all know in 2017. (Lucky you.)

Aaaaanyway, back to the food. I got this recipe from a friend, who got it from a friend, who may have read it in a cookbook. I do not know the name of the cookbook (if it exists), or I would type it right here. Instead (especially after the Jessica Seinfeld brouhaha), I will just say – THIS IS NOT MY RECIPE. But it IS good. And healthy. And cheap. And it will make you like spaghetti squash, no matter how old you are.

(SIDE NOTES: This is a good, filling main dish for company, and much tastier if you use a heavy hand with the herbs/spices. High reheat potential, too.)

Spaghetti Squash Casserole
5 servings
Adapted from a wonderful, albeit unknown source.

1 spaghetti squash (about 4 lbs.)
¼ - ½ cup seasoned breadcrumbs (or a regular breadcrumbs and many dried herbs)
1/3 cup pignoli (pine) nuts
Salt and pepper to taste
1 cup marinara sauce
1 cup shredded low-fat mozzarella

(Instructions provided by Rachel, the Cheap Healthy Gourmet)

1) Preheat oven to 400. Cover a rimmed baking sheet with tin foil and cooking spray.

2) Take a paring knife, and poke a million holes in the exterior of the squash.

3) Bake the squash until the outside is beginning to brown, and hull gets mushy. This usually took about 45 minutes or so for me (90 minutes for me - Kris), and Id flip the squash once or twice during the process. Depending on the thickness of the shell and the size of the bugger, it may take more or less time. Id start keeping an intermittent eye on it after about 30 minutes.

4) When brownness has been achieved, take the squash out of the oven, and allow it to cool. When its cool enough to touch, split the beast in two lengthwise, and de-seed it; toss seeds in the trash. Then, scrape the meat out of it with a fork, dragging your utensil down lengthwise. As you scrape down, the strands should separate from the shell, so that youre just left with the hull. Put the warm strands in a bowl, and the hull in the trash.

5) While the squash is baking, toast 1/3 cup of pignoli (pine) nuts, and measure out 1/4-1/2 cup of seasoned breadcrumbs. (If you dont-a-gotta da seasoned stuff, just throw in a lot of dried parsley, basil and oregano, or whatever you like that youve got lying around.)

6) Combine squash with the pignolis, bread crumbs, and salt and pepper to taste. Put in a shallow 8"x8" (or approximate) baking dish that youve sprayed a little cooking spray on.

7) Take about 1 cup of marinara sauce, and spread like frosting across the top. Sprinkle mozzarella on top.

8) Cover with tin foil, and bake for about 10 minutes, or until bubbly. Remove tin foil, and bake for another 5. Serve and go yum.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
287 calories, 12 g fat, $1.38

Calculations
1 spaghetti squash: 491 calories, 4.7 g fat, $2.84
¼ - ½ cup seasoned breadcrumbs: 142 calories, 1.9 g fat, $0.18
1/3 cup pignoli (pine) nuts: 270 calories, 23.7 g fat, $2.09
Salt and pepper to taste: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
1 cup marinara sauce: 172 calories, 10 g fat, $0.70
1 cup shredded low-fat mozzarella: 360 calories, 20 g fat, $1.09
TOTAL: 1435 calories, 60.3 g fat, $6.92
PER SERVING: 287 calories, 12 g fat, $1.38